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venerdì 13 gennaio 2012

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind


« How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! »
Alexander Pope


Good morning. Good night. I don't know, it's almost half past two a.m., but nobody is sleeping in this (empty?) dorm, it's time to wake up.
I have just finished to watch a really nice movie which everybody should watch at least once in life. It is supposed to be a good lesson for all those who are a little bit baffled at the moment. No surprises!
My last days in Vilnius are rather strange. I don't really understand if I'd like to stay here more and more time or if I really need and want to come back home. Homeward bound or "young, wild and free"?
No way to understand anything.

Is it still Erasmus or what?
Do I need to admit all finished?
Do I need to stay with my friends in Italy?
Do I need to take care of myself?
Do I need to stop with my crazy drinking night?
Do I need to remember and forget at the same time?

Too many questions without answers, as always.
I just want you to see what my drinking night can sometimes create: my lovely knee (live it's even worst)! Don't ask me how it is possible. I remember just 40% of last Tuesday. Enjoy!

martedì 3 gennaio 2012

A little bit of snow, a little bit of sadness, a little bit of...



Hello.
Nobody probably read my last post, but who cares. It's the third of January and a lot of things have changed. Ten days, just ten days...people's lives can change a lot in only ten hours, sometimes.

2012 arrived and I must admit that 2011 was not so bad. It actually was rather amazing.
First six months...puff. I studied too much, but it was worth all the while.
From September on...wow! Cooler than ever, I guess. Erasmus changed my life. I have been growing up since the beginning of my experience here in Lithuania and now nothing seems the same as before.

Nothing is the same as well. This post is dedicated to a person I loved. The same person who, now, is no more on this earth. I loved you and I still love you, S. (Just look at point 6, the most important one).

New year's resolution:

1. Study more than ever. I will try to get my degree by November. It will be so fucking hard I can't explain.
2.Being concrete. I need to come back to reality. Maybe. When I will come back to my hometown...I hope so.
3.Try to think less and act more. Actually, I'm more instinctive than ever at the moment. That's why I'd like to keep acting like this.
4.Visit at least 4 more European capital cities. I don't see the time to see more countries, I really need to do it. I hope to go somewhere as soon as possible.
5.Get more tattoos. My mom will be so happy! Tomorrow I'm gonna get my seventh one...I think I should stop for a little bit and then, perhaps, start again.
6.Remember. As I said before, nothing is the same. I cannot realize it, I cannot resign myself to this...but I should. Just read this to understand, it's really important. You should translate it, of course. I just want you to know.
7.Live my life as it should finish next December, as Maya predicted time ago. I don't really think we will die all on the 21st of December 2012...but who knows. Time is running out, or пора закруглятся!

I hope you had a nice Christmas and a wonderful New Year's eve...mine were more or less ok.
Actually Christmas was a little bit shitty 'cause the dorm was empty. Maybe it could have been better if I had stayed with my family, but it's ok. Then I went to Riga for almost three days and it was amazing!
New Year's eve was quite good. Not bad. At least there were some more people in Vilnius. But I felt quite bad anyway, I think that nobody could have helped me at all.

Now I'm really looking forward my future. My immediate one.

A.

p.s. I don't know if I really want to come back home or not.


 
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